that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
No...this little piggys going to the bar
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My bed smells like the plague
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
