yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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