I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
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