i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
My pussy is not your playground.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
