Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize