I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
