The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Randomize
