He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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