The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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