that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize