Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
