and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
