Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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