You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
