"it" just moved
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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