just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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