So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
