Kiss
Puke
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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