I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
