is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
did you just send me my own nude
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
