so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
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I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.