I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.