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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle

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• (713): View more from Texas

  He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.

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  19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home

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• (408): View more from California

  so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing

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• 

  The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (860): View more from Connecticut

  If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.

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• (845): View more from New York

  He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina

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• (858): View more from California

  I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it

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