well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?