The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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