my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?