i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
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Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual