Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.

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  (773): Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best. http://tfl.nu/s8cg
  Replies (58) Good night (5704) Bad night (664)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game

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  (973): maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game http://tfl.nu/v1t4
  Replies (40) Good night (5286) Bad night (522)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

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  (715): I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win. http://tfl.nu/jyaa
  Replies (64) Good night (17306) Bad night (1578)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.

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  (513): his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick. http://tfl.nu/h0yf
  Replies (18) Good night (1306) Bad night (4954)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.

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  (+64): I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable. http://tfl.nu/t0un
  Replies (4) Good night (2342) Bad night (1059)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.

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  (850): If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me. http://tfl.nu/s2pe
  Replies (20) Good night (1453) Bad night (4874)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

  (904): View more from Florida

  So when does your new flight leave?

  (734): View more from Michigan

  At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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  (734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le
  Replies (8) Good night (1936) Bad night (641)
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  (909): View more from California

  I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.

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  (909): I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us. http://tfl.nu/99mo
  Replies (6) Good night (670) Bad night (2324)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.

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  (602): Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/31f5
  Replies (3) Good night (1191) Bad night (438)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!

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  (225): I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid! http://tfl.nu/3alp
  Replies (4) Good night (470) Bad night (1649)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.

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  (303): I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list. http://tfl.nu/udqv
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (412)
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  (760): View more from California

  Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver

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  (760): Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver http://tfl.nu/ovu0
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.

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  (805): Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism. http://tfl.nu/3xan
  Replies (0) Good night (380) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.

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  (316): I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas. http://tfl.nu/msox
  Replies (0) Good night (578) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.

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  (216): Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious. http://tfl.nu/m0rv
  Replies (1) Good night (286) Bad night (103)

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