you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating