I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
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