How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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