If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
