Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
