Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
