ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
