Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
