PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
