Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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