Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
