I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
