i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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