You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
