In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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