last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
