i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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