I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
