Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize