i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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