I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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