we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just googled if crying burns calories
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize