Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
