Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
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its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The ass gains better be worth it
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