oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
