Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
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His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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