i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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