**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
