dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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