Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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