Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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