I'm gonna have a badass scar
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
