Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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