Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Are we still banned from the library?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
