did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Liz is crying about burritos again.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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