I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
