so explain again why im purple
no
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
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BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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