you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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