my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
