Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
